Change of Heart

photo courtesy of my brother 

While being in Chicago wasn't the ideal situation for me, it allowed me to really think about what I want most out of life. Which is something I haven't thought about in a long time. I was too busy trying to graduate and earn my degree and gain experience that I lost track of what was really important to me. You know that dreaded question of "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" during interviews? Yeah, that's when I knew that PR and marketing wasn't for me.

The main thing that I noticed while visiting PR agencies and interning was that no one had children. And if they did, they never got to see them.. only to wake them up and put them to bed. So here I was, faced with a decision to either be successful in my career or have children and a family and not go anywhere in my career. I thought it would be possible to have both.. but we all know that very rarely happens. Women have to choose between a career and a family and that's just the way it is. The one thing I want most out of life is a family and to be a mom. And that's something I really realized while being in Chicago. I knew it before, but I always thought oh, I'll just quit and be a stay-at-home mom when the time comes, but I don't want to be a stay-at-home mom forever. I want to make something of myself and earn my own money as well. Which brings me to my next point.

I have always wanted to be an elementary school teacher but I was afraid of not being able to make enough money. I always said that if I never needed to make any money, I would be a teacher. And I think that says it all right there. Why am I not doing something I would do even if I didn't get paid?? And teachers do have an opportunity to make the kind of money that I want to make. So, I was wrong about that part. I just think I would really enjoy being a teacher. I love kids and they seem to really like me. Also, when I do have my family, I will have time to spend with them and I will be able to be the mom that I want to be.

The plan is to go back to KSU this spring to earn a second degree in early childhood education. The program will take me two full years, including summers, but I strongly feel that this is what I'm meant to do. Everything happens for a reason and I wouldn't change one thing about my decision to move to Chicago and then to move back. I have learned so much about myself and I finally feel happy that I'm going to do something that I've always wanted to do. And it's ok that it took me one degree and a big move later to figure this out. After all, I am only 22. :)